I never meant to hurt you It's just something I do I guess it's not a good excuse
It's hard for me to speak. The words line up Like children outside, and I knock them over like dominos, too scared to see the message. They are pounding into my heart, over and over again. I'll never follow the line of the creek, never traverse the edges to the muddy waters where I find myself, never listened to the trickling of the currents bubbling Up from the deep, secret places where I hide myself. It's hard for me to explain, so I hide the meaning In animals and plants and bits of nature that are significant only to me, only in the twisted maze of my mind so I can sing without ever letting the notes reach you. It's hard for me to be there, to unzip the pockets where I stuff all my emotions, afraid the world will see them So I compress them, efficiently, like my body is a warehouse and the only purpose for my feelings is to throw them away. Know, then, that to write this down takes strength as I rip myself open, take all the seams apart, just so I can show you the thread that holds myself together let you see the places where it frays, where it falls apart. Do you understand me better ? Do you know me better ? I hope so, but I expect not. Unlocking all my hidden caverns finding the sharks that swim in the depths of my heart only serves to make one more confused than ever before. Because the truth is, vulnerability does not complete the painting rather it messes it up, mixing the colors, as we begin to see that nothing in life is ever clean, there are no straight lines and perhaps the only thing to do with this rainbow is embrace it.